Some of our chocolate is missing!


THESE are testing times for those of us with a sweet tooth. The halcyon moments where it would take ages to eat a chocolate bar have gone forever. These days, mine are wolfed down in a couple of bites, which I used to attribute to my big mouth. But this week, the Daily Telegraph did a great public service by revealing what many have thought for ages – chocolate products have quietly become smaller in recent years. The report makes for unpalatable reading.
I haven’t yet got over the shock of last year’s Great Toblerone Conspiracy where the snack’s US makers decided to feature larger gaps between the distinctive pyramids. But now we have confirmation that Snickers bars (which should still be called Marathon), standard Quality Street tins and Twixes all weigh much less than they used to. Then there are Cream Eggs. I was never able to fit a whole one in my mouth, but now I can do it with ease. And don’t get me started on Terry’s Chocolate Orange, which appears to have seen a drastic reduction in the quantity of zesty orangey bits. Is none of our chocolate safe?
Zounds! Unleash the dogs of hell on confectioners. This is a national scandal! There should be parliamentary inquiries, investigations and top-level meetings of select committees. If we’re not careful our favourite treats will disappear into nothingness, just like the Texan bar.

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