Fruity Political Insults

Boris: A "caggie-handed cheese-headed fopdoodle"

Boris Johnson, the master of strange phrases has been given a taste of his own medicine.
The man who introduced us to whiff-whaff when talking about table tennis and who called Jeremy Corbyn a “mutton-headed old mugwump” has been labelled a “caggie-handed cheese-headed fopdoodle” by Labour’s Tom Watson. It is a deliciously-sounding phrase that had me scouring the internet to understand what it means. It turns out that a ‘fopdoodle’ is a simpleton or insignificant fellow.
I think this kind of name-calling is an excellent way forward and should be taken up by many more politicians. It will inject some colour into the election campaign, which is characterised by robotic mantras of ‘strong and stable, stable and strong, brighter, stable future for a better, stronger tomorrow blah blah bleh’. The curious words may be intended to be insults, but they are so silly they cease to be that. More importantly, they add a little bit of levity to the proceedings.
Inspired by Messrs Watson and Johnson, I’ve just spent a few minutes coming up with my own colourful phrases. Should anyone cross me in the future, they could be on the receiving end of such names as “a loiter sack of a squiffdidle in multi-coloured breeches” or “a joyriding raggabrash lubberwort” or my favourite, “an empty-headed flap-mouthed flubberwhump”.

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